


ferris wheels of us

by fromthefarshore



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ferris Wheels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 01:48:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3710326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromthefarshore/pseuds/fromthefarshore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto thinks that they've reached the highest point and everything's going down from now on, but Akaashi refuses to believe so.<br/>Because there's no going down with Bokuto, not with him. It's always about flying higher, Akaashi's told that to himself many times before, but now he needs to show it to Bokuto, too.</p><p>or, Bokuto and Akaashi figuring out their relationship while riding ferris wheels<br/>(not really angsty even though it sounds so)</p>
            </blockquote>





	ferris wheels of us

It's a bit more than two weeks until graduation ceremony when Bokuto asks Akaashi to go to Yokohama together. Akaashi never needs to ask why, after all the time spent together he knows that the reason behind the little trip to Yokohama is _always_ the ferris wheel there. But something's off now, it seems that Bokuto's got more reasons, as this time he keeps his eyes casted down, something unnatural in his posture, little shrug of his shoulders and a twitch in his smile. It's not the feel of flying that he seeks now, and Akaashi bites on his lip, hesitating. 

"Did anything happen?" he asks, keeping his voice calm and Bokuto's eyes widen for a second as if Akaashi's realised something he wasn't supposed to know, but then his usual grin is back, and he shakes his head, bringing his arm around Akaashi's shoulders. 

"Not at all," he laughs. "So? Are you in?" 

Akaashi's not sure if he wants to know what's hiding behind Bokuto's smile and that little silvering of his eyes, but he nods anyway. 

"Of course, Bokuto-san." 

Bokuto looks relieved and nervous at the same time, as if something's going just the way he's planned, and Akaashi frowns because probably for the first time in almost two years he has no idea what's going on with Bokuto. 

It can't be the confession, Akaashi's sure. He's seen the way Bokuto's eyes follow him and he's well aware of that little trembling in his own chest during those moments, but he knows that Bokuto won't say anything, and Akaashi himself is not going to make things more difficult either. They're fine the way it is, the way Akaashi's annoyed 'personal space's have turned to silent sighs that have disappeared after a while, too, the way Bokuto's loud 'hey hey hey's have turned to more silent, more personal 'hey, Akaashi's meant only for him. That's how it is and how it's going to stay, Akaashi's understood that long ago and they both have successfully stopped with liking only, not giving themselves chances to fall for each other. Because Bokuto's made for flying and Akaashi's meant to make him fly, and so falling has never been for them. 

After all, everything about Bokuto is always about flying, Akaashi smiles to himself at the way Bokuto nearly jumps through the gates in the station. 

The gate beeps when Akaashi puts his IC card to go through, and he has to go to add more money to it. No matter how much he tries, it seems he can't fly together with Bokuto all the time. It makes him sigh and when he gets his card back from the machine, something makes him stay there, looking at the screen for a while. 

He takes a deep breath, then grabs his card and goes to the gate. Bokuto's waiting for him on the other side and Akaashi finds himself wondering if he's going to wait for him after graduation, too. 

The word graduation sends shivers through his body and he looks at Bokuto, thinking if today's trip has something to do with it. Bokuto doesn't seem neither happy nor sad about the graduation, and Akaashi can't make all ends meet. Something is missing and the way Bokuto smiles at him, asking if everything's okay, just makes it all worse. 

It's something else, and the ride to Yokohama seems to take much longer this time even with Bokuto chattering most of the time. 

\- 

They go to China Town first, stuffing their stomachs with various dumplings and waiting until it gets dark. Riding a ferris wheel in the evening feels a lot better, they both decided so after trying it both in the daytime and after the sun sets. Bokuto has said that the city looks more colourful, more beautiful in the night, and Akaashi agreed to that, never voicing out his own reasons. 

It's easier to look at Bokuto without being noticed. It's easier to hide his smile when Bokuto can't stay in one place, pointing to different directions and telling Akaashi to look there, even though after all the rides they had he can already say what's where without looking. 

They get into yellow gondola and it makes Bokuto smile as he says it reminds him of the gold colour of their team. 

His smile is bitter though, and Akaashi can't make himself smile back because Bokuto's not going to be on the team anymore, and the golden colour will never be the same without gold of Bokuto's eyes. They both fall silent and Akaashi wants to get out of the gondola when finally everything gets in its places in his mind. 

The way to the top feels like forever, but it's still not enough time for Akaashi to come up with anything good to say. 

"We've reached the highest point," the words leave Bokuto's mouth and he looks sad, a silent sigh escaping his lips. It feels wrong, and Akaashi wants to shake his head, telling Bokuto to stop. 

"The city looks beautiful from here," he says instead, looking through the window. Bokuto lets out a laugh. It takes just a few moments and they're going down again. 

"Not that," Bokuto takes a deep breath and leans back, averting his eyes when Akaashi looks at him. "I mean us. That's our highest point. This year. We got here and now it's going down." 

Akaashi blinks fast a few times, then lowers his eyes, Bokuto's words somehow hurting. It feels worse than after losing the match, and he bites on his lip, not knowing what to do. He can feel Bokuto's eyes on him again, but now it's him who's not looking back. 

"You don't have to say anything. It's fine," Bokuto says, making Akaashi shake his head. 

"It's not," he mutters and he wants to smile, but something is stopping him. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

"Have you never heard about the mountains?" he hears himself ask and sees Bokuto frown when he opens his eyes. He doesn't really know where it all is coming from, but that's better than silence, so he doesn't stop himself, "Firstly, you can't say that you've reached the top if you're not back down yet. And secondly," he takes a deep breath, then smiles bitterly. It sounds good in his head and he hopes it'll sound the same when he voices it out, "You don't even know if that's the highest point. You don't know, maybe you'll reach even higher with the next climb," he adds, almost in whisper, and Bokuto blinks at him, not knowing what to say. 

"It's not a mountain," he mutters after a while, when it's almost time for them to get off. "It's a ferris wheel, you know exactly where the top is." 

"Bokuto-san," Akaashi thinks for a moment, then sighs deeply, a gentle smile appearing on his face, "Would you come to Odaiba with me next time?" 

"Odaiba?" 

Akaashi looks away before answering, because it's stupid and he doesn't even know why he's doing it. 

"The ferris wheel there. It's same like this one," he says in whisper and when Bokuto laughs, he understands why exactly he is doing it. "We can reach the same point again," he says and the sadness in Bokuto's eyes finally disappears. 

There's that little trembling in Akaashi's chest again, and he knows he doesn't want this to be the only highest point. He doesn't want to go down, not yet, and Bokuto's smiling face makes him smile, too. 

"You're the best, Akaashi," Bokuto says when their gondola's doors are opened and even though Akaashi's placing his feet on the ground, he feels a bit like flying. 

\- 

Night Odaiba, and then the whole Tokyo start coming into view few minutes after they get into gondola, and Akaashi leans back, the silent voice coming from the speakers making Bokuto groan when it welcomes them in English, and repeat everything together when it's in Japanese. 

Akaashi lets out a silent laugh at the way Bokuto changes his voice, and sets his eyes on the boy in front of him. They move slowly and it doesn't feel like flying, if you ask Akaashi, but the smile on Bokuto's face tells otherwise and he closes his eyes in content. 

He's asked Bokuto about this before, saying that roller coasters seem to be a better choice if he wants the feel of flight, but Bokuto has only shaken his head, saying that it's not about speed. 

"They're so lucky." Akaashi hears Bokuto's voice and opens his eyes, following the direction Bokuto's turned to. Even though it's dark, he can see shadows of a few birds flying through the sky. Bokuto sighs deeply, then looks at Akaashi, "Isn't that cool, seeing the whole world from above?" 

"Not the whole world, Bokuto-san," Akaashi says and Bokuto's laughter fills his ears. "But you're right, it's fascinating." 

"Right?" Bokuto nods, smiling widely. His eyes stay on Akaashi a bit longer, then he bites his lip and looks away. They're getting closer to the top and Akaashi wishes that the time could stop for a moment and he'll have more time to think things through. 

Everyone's always been saying that Akaashi's the only one who really does understand Bokuto, who knows what to do to make Bokuto feel the best, what's needed to be said to him and when, how. And now the words are dancing on his tongue, ready to be spilled out, but he's hesitating, his eyes following every little move Bokuto makes, at the same time checking if they haven't reached the top yet. They're coming into almost straight line with upper gondola and Akaashi takes in a shaky breath. 

"Akaashi?" 

Bokuto's looking at him, and Akaashi lowers his eyes. 

"Bokuto-san, I..." the gondola in front is disappearing from the view, Akaashi knows even without looking, and he closes his eyes before opening them again, looking through the window. "I guess we are lucky, too," he mutters. When he brings his glare back to Bokuto, the boy is looking at him intensively, waiting for more. "Even though we can't fly, we get to see the city from up here," he adds and curses inside his head for being a coward. 

"True," Bokuto chuckles, then takes a deep breath, "It could just stop up here for a little while." 

Bokuto is looking at him as if he's expecting more and Akaashi turns away. He's been thinking about telling Bokuto how he feels, telling him that there's no way they're going down, because it's only going up when it comes to Bokuto, only up, but everything has sounded easier in his head, everything has flown smoothly, not like in real life, not like here, sitting in front of Bokuto. 

Akaashi looks at all the tall buildings, at Tokyo Tower and frowns slightly, trying to run away from his inner self. 

"Why do we never go to Skytree?" he asks, almost in whisper, as if he's not sure if the question is right. He knows the answer the second it leaves his mouth, and when Bokuto gives him a look, he lowers his eyes again. 

"Because ferris wheels are way cooler. And it wouldn't be just the two of us there," Bokuto says, shrugging, then laughs silently, "Hey, Akaashi. Up for another ride? My treat." 

It feels like Bokuto's giving him another chance, encouraging him, and Akaashi wants to groan in reply because it's not fair, because Bokuto's letting him make a choice, letting him decide if they're going higher, stopping where they are or going down. 

"Okay," he mutters and takes a deep breath. Akaashi feels like they've been stuck in one place for too long anyway, and there's no going down with Bokuto, not with him, he's told that to himself many times before, and now he needs to show it to Bokuto, too. 

It feels like tossing to Bokuto all over again. If they fail the first time, all it takes is another toss and everything's back to normal, or even better. 

Bokuto's smile stretches wider and when a young man opens the door, Bokuto quickly asks if they can go again. There are no people waiting, so the man nods and wishes them a nice ride. 

Bokuto gives Akaashi thumbs up and the dark haired boy sighs, turning away to hide his own beam. 

"You didn't have to pay almost two thousand yen for this, Bokuto-san," Akaashi says when they're getting closer to the top. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he shrugs, a silly grin across his face. It's so different from the ride in Yokohama, and Akaashi thinks that maybe he should have said everything sooner, that maybe then the ride in Yokohama would have been like this too, with smiles, cheesy lines and pleasant fluttering in their stomachs. 

Akaashi's quite sure it was the first ferris wheel ride they had when the thinking that he could like Bokuto somehow turned to thinking that he does like Bokuto, he likes him a lot. He doesn't know how everything's worked out for Bokuto, but he dares to guess that Bokuto's gotten there sooner; he's always been faster than Akaashi, anyway. 

It comes to Akaashi only now, that maybe that's why Bokuto hasn't done anything, maybe that's him saying he's waiting for Akaashi to catch up. 

Bokuto's never been afraid of taking a first step and all the time Akaashi's been thinking that if they're going further, it'll come from Bokuto. But Bokuto's been putting Akaashi above himself for quite a while already, and Akaashi's inner self groans as he has never understood it before. 

"Bokuto-san," Akaashi bites his lip at how unsteady his voice sounds and darts his eyes away when Bokuto leans forward, his eyes focused on Akaashi. 

It seems that Bokuto being so expressive himself hasn't caught on Akaashi's feelings or Akaashi being too composed hasn't left any cracks for Bokuto to peek through. Now Akaashi realises that the ferris wheel ride in Yokohama was supposed to be Bokuto's way of telling himself that it's time to give up, but the thing is, Akaashi has never wanted him to give up. 

He lifts his eyes and is met with Bokuto's warm smile, the glimmering of his eyes setting Akaashi at ease. 

There's only darkness behind Bokuto and it makes Akaashi smile himself. 

"You're captivating," he says almost in whisper, and when Bokuto blinks at him Akaashi lets out a short laugh. It's easier than he's thought and the words escape his lips on their own, "I'm drawn to you, Bokuto-san." 

"I..." Bokuto starts laughing, then gets up and sits next to Akaashi, "I got that, just," he snickers to himself, then takes a deeper breath, "It feels like I've got a pair of wings, Akaashi. And if that's how _real_ flying feels like, I gotta say that's incredible." 

He takes Akaashi's hand, his grip a bit loose, but it feels warm and Akaashi leans a bit closer to Bokuto. 

"No going down then?" he asks silently and Bokuto gently bumps their shoulders. 

"No going down." 

\- 

It's a bit more than two weeks after Bokuto's graduation and early cherry blossoms have already started, colouring little parts of the city in pink. It's not much, but Akaashi thinks it'd probably look lovely seeing it from the sky. He looks at the towers of Disneyland, bright in the dark, and smiles to himself, bringing his eyes back to Bokuto. 

"Do you think we'll get to see the fireworks from up here?" he asks and Bokuto shrugs. 

"Not sure. Would be pretty cool, though," he gives Akaashi a little smile, then checks the time. "If they start at eight thirty, we'll still be high enough for that." 

Akaashi nods and they fall into comfortable silence. They reach the very top, exchanging the small smiles. 

"It's the highest wheel in Japan. That's the highest we've ever been so far," Bokuto sighs, but he sounds happy and Akaashi lets out an amused puff. 

"There are higher ferris wheels in the world, Bokuto-san." 

Bokuto's laughter fills up the gondola and Akaashi finds himself laughing silently, too. 

"You're amazing, Akaashi," he says after a while and Akaashi gives him a look. 

"It's just common knowledge, nothing amazing." 

"Right, right," Bokuto laughs. He checks the time, then rests his eyes on Akaashi, who's looking through the windows. It's almost eight thirty, and when the first fireworks go off in the sky Akaashi gasps silently at the colours in the darkness and turns his head to that side, a smile appearing on his face, "Look, Bokuto-san." 

He doesn't though, keeping his eyes on the dark haired boy instead. Akaashi turns to him when he doesn't get an answer and slightly furrows his eyebrows. 

"What are you thinking about?" 

Bokuto feels his smile widen as he leans forward. "You're gorgeous," he whispers and even though it's quite dark, he can still see a slight blush creeping across Akaashi's cheeks. 

"It's umpteenth time you say it," he mutters, sighing. Bokuto rolls his eyes. 

"And I'll say it again. You're gorgeous," he shrugs, " _And_ , I want to kiss you," he whispers after a moment and licks his lips, looking Akaashi right into the eyes. "But I'm not sure if that's a good idea." 

"Why not?" Akaashi asks, frowning, and Bokuto loves how fast the words leave Akaashi's mouth, how genuinely surprised he looks like. It's lovely, and Bokuto finds himself laughing. 

"Once you get a habit, it's hard to get rid of it," he leans back, a smile on his face. Akaashi lets out another sigh. 

"Not all habits are bad, Bokuto-san," he says and leans back, too, a little beam playing on his face. 

Bokuto chuckles. 

"I'll keep that in mind." 

\- 

When they get off, Bokuto brings Akaashi to poppy fields a bit further away from the ferris wheel, away from people eyes. No one's walking here in the dark, all the little paths here empty unlike during day, and Bokuto stops close to the little forest, then plops down, supporting himself on the elbows. Akaashi lets out a snort and sits down cross legged, facing Bokuto, his fingers starting to play with stems and leaves. 

"I could stay here forever," Bokuto mutters, catching Akaashi's glare before looking at the sky. 

Akaashi hums in approval. He thinks it's beautiful and a bit magical, it feels like he's under a spell and he smiles, wondering if someone has sown poppies here trying to create such effect as parallel to being drugged by poppy milk on purpose. 

"You can try," he says after a while, "Poppies are associated with eternal life, after all." 

"You know a lot," Bokuto takes a deep breath, then lies down, and Akaashi lets his fingers wander from poppies to Bokuto's hair, his fingertips gently touching the very edges of it. 

"According to Chinese legend," he starts slowly, his words floating in the darkness without any hurry, "one beautiful and courageous woman followed her warrior husband into the battle. When her husband's army was surrounded, she tried to boost his spirit while dancing in the wind with the sword," his eyes travel to Bokuto's face. Bokuto's looking back at him, his eyebrows raised slightly as he tries to understand where it's going. Akaashi smiles. "The petals of poppy flower reflect her spirit. And when her attempt to ease his sadness failed and she committed suicide, a cluster of poppies sprang from her grave site, blooming beautifully." 

"I was expecting for a bit happier ending," Bokuto mutters and Akaashi chuckles silently. 

"It's about everlasting love," he says in whisper and his eyes drift down Bokuto's face, his glare lingering on Bokuto's lips for a moment before he looks away. "And in the legend poppies represent loyalty and faith between lovers," he adds, then sighs, but it's not a tired sigh, it's just a bit sad as if he's longing for something himself, "I think it's beautiful." 

"It is," Bokuto smiles and sits up, supporting himself with one arm, "Hey, Akaashi. Can I kiss you?" 

Akaashi laughs silently, then gives him a few short nods and slowly leans forward. Bokuto meets him halfway, his free hand moving to Akaashi's neck and up to his hair. 

The kiss is short and chaste, but it's enough to make them feel as if they're flying. 

"It's a bit funny. A kiss here after what I've told you," Akaashi says, bringing his arms around Bokuto and hiding his face in the crook of Bokuto's neck. 

"Did it feel wrong?" Bokuto mutters and Akaashi can hear the pout in his voice. He pulls back a bit, shaking his head. 

"No, not at all," he smiles and his cheeks colour in slight red, "It felt wonderful." 

\- 

"Congratulations," Bokuto smiles and Akaashi looks at the diploma in his hand. It's been more than a year and a little smile curls at his lips too as nothing has really changed between them. 

"Thank you, Bokuto-san," he says and Bokuto puts his arm around Akaashi's shoulders. 

"Say, Akaashi, what do you think about Osaka?" There's a slightly mischievous grin plastered across Bokuto's face and Akaashi lets out a short laugh. 

"I've been to the castle and it's rather beautiful," he says, trying to withhold his widening smile as he knows what exactly is coming. 

"Oh, then you just _have_ to go again. You've missed out _a lot_ ," Bokuto starts laughing himself, "You see, there's that really cool ferris wheel near the bay and we have to try it." 

"Bokuto-san, that's five hundred kilometres from Tokyo," he chuckles silently, shaking his head in disbelief, "Isn't that a bit too far for a ferris wheel ride?" 

"There's also that park," Bokuto smirks as if he's been waiting for Akaashi to ask this, "There are like hundreds of thousands of poppies blooming next month, so I thought you might like it." 

"I'm not crazy about poppies," Akaashi shrugs, hiding his smile when he starts walking to the school gates, "I don't know why you think otherwise." Bokuto rolls his eyes. 

"You know _everything_ about them. Let's just go, it's supposed to be really beautiful and it's in Osaka city anyway, so why not." 

"I just happened to read about symbolism of poppies, that's it," Akaashi takes a deep breath, then turns around to look at Bokuto, letting his lips turn into a full smile, "And the park is in Suita city, not Osaka itself." 

"See? You knew it!" Bokuto laughs loudly and springs to Akaashi, "You're unbelievable." 

Akaashi sighs deeply, giving Bokuto a look, " _You_ are." 

Bokuto gives him a grin, but doesn't say anything and they both turn to the road that leads to the station. Even without saying anything, they both know that they're going to Yokohama. It's been a while since they've been there and they've decided before that they're going to ride Yokohama's ferris wheel when Akaashi graduates high school. That's where everything has started when for Bokuto things seemed to be going down, and that's where Akaashi wants to start when things are about to go up. 

They go through the gates at the same time and when Akaashi looks at his diploma he feels like he's finally caught up with Bokuto. 

\- 

"Bokuto-san, let's go to Osaka," Akaashi says silently when they're halfway up the ferris wheel. The sun is still high in the sky, but the smile on Bokuto's face seems to be brighter and the little trembling is back in Akaashi's chest. 

"You sure?" Bokuto asks, narrowing his eyes as if trying to see if Akaashi isn't joking. 

Akaashi stands up and sits next to Bokuto, slightly leaning against him. 

"Of course," he says and Bokuto hums in satisfaction. 

"We've reached the highest point once again," he mutters after a few minutes and Akaashi smiles at his last words. He likes the sound of it, he likes how Bokuto has started thinking that there isn't only one highest point, that they can reach it again and again, he likes how content Bokuto sounds and it makes Akaashi happy, too. 

He looks through the window, a few birds flying in the sky catching his attention. He still remembers when Bokuto's said how great it is that birds can see the whole world from above, but now he feels a little bit like a bird himself. The thought sounds funny in his head, but then again, everything's become a bit funnier with Bokuto by his side, and Akaashi likes to think of them as lucky for that. He looks up at Bokuto and is given a wide grin, followed by a short kiss on his nose. 

It feels good this way, and Akaashi thinks if that's how birds feel while flying in the sky, they're definitely lucky, too. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!♥  
> I think I'm getting into bokuaka more and more and I can't control myself, so my little wish for them to ride a ferris wheel together turned into this.  
> It might have been a bit confusing, so if anything's not clear or you have any questions, please feel free to ask
> 
>  I abolutely forgot that at some point I did a little [drawing](http://fromthefarshore.tumblr.com/post/133351535827/fromthefarshoree-a-little-illustration-for-my) for this
> 
> (Bokuto talking about kissing becoming a habit comes from this quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald: "I won't kiss you. It might get to be a habit and I can't get rid of habits.")


End file.
